


nepenthe

by radiodread



Category: Given (Anime), Given (Manga)
Genre: (sorta) - Freeform, Akihiko and Mafuyu read each other's minds, Fluff, Gen, Kaji Akihiko knows more than he lets on, Light Angst, M/M, Personal Growth, Takes place during and after episodes 9 & 10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:01:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27752743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radiodread/pseuds/radiodread
Summary: ~ nepenthe - something that makes one forget their sadness.Mafuyu finds himself outside where Akihiko lives, though he doesn't exactly know why. Something in his subconscious brought him here and he wants to find out what it is.
Relationships: Kaji Akihiko & Satou Mafuyu, Satou Mafuyu/Uenoyama Ritsuka
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	nepenthe

He doesn’t really know why he’s here, but now that Mafuyu’s come all this way, he isn’t about to turn back. It’s just a little awkward now that he’s standing outside the door to Akihiko’s place, because… well, Akihiko isn’t the only one living there. Mafuyu’s only seen Ugetsu Murata once: it was after their live performance, and it was very brief. If Ugetsu turns out to be the one who answers the door, Mafuyu doesn’t know what he’ll say or do that’ll justify him just showing up outside their house. Or rather, basement.

Why they live in a basement is a question on Mafuyu’s mind that he won’t verbalise.

Thankfully, Akihiko is the one who opens the door, and he looks about as surprised at Mafuyu’s sudden visit as Mafuyu knows he’d be if it had been the other way around.

“Mafuyu? Uh… hey. What’s up?”

He opens his mouth without knowing how to respond, so Mafuyu closes it again, takes a deep breath. “Are you busy?”

“Not really, no. Did something happen?”

Mafuyu chews on his lower lip. It’s probably weird, after all, that he just shows up like this. He hasn’t hung out much with Akihiko without the others, or really, at _all_ , but maybe this is a good start. They _are_ in the same band, after all, so it shouldn’t be that strange.

“No, nothing happened.”

Akihiko exhales a _huh_ , confusion written all over his face, still. “Well… come on in. I assume you didn’t come here to just stand outside my door. Or Ugetsu’s door. Or… whatever.”

Mafuyu bows his head slightly as he walks in after Akihiko. His eyes widen almost immediately at the sight of Akihiko’s drums that greets him first thing upon entering, and it makes Akihiko laugh.

“It’s a good thing we live in the basement or I wouldn’t be able to practice. Or either of us, really.”

Mafuyu hums. “Right. Murata-san practices the violin here, too.”

“He sure does. I do, too, sometimes, but I mostly play the drums… to his chagrin,” Akihiko says, and he lets out a dry laugh. “Want anything to drink? I’m not letting you have anything alcoholic, though; our Ue-sama’s gonna kill me if I do.”

Mafuyu smiles. “I’m okay. Thank you, though.”

He takes the liberty of sitting down on the couch while Akihiko grabs himself a beer in the fridge. Meanwhile, Mafuyu looks around the space Akihiko shares with Ugetsu. It’s nothing special upon a quick glance, but Mafuyu gets the feeling it reflects Akihiko and Ugetsu as roommates, maybe something more. Thanks to Ritsuka, Mafuyu knows that Akihiko has had sexual or romantic—or maybe both—experiences with men, and Mafuyu has a growing suspicion that Ugetsu is part of it.

“Where is Murata-san, by the way?” he finds himself asking.

Akihiko returns from the kitchen, flopping down on the couch next to Mafuyu with a sigh. “He’s in Brussels for a violin competition.”

“Oh. You wouldn’t want to go with him?”

Akihiko shrugs. “Nah. I usually watch his performance on TV or listen to it on the radio, and we’ll see each other when he gets back, anyway. We’re not really like that.”

“But you have been.”

Akihiko hums. “You knew that?”

“No, I assumed.”

“Huh. Well then.” Akihiko laughs. “Yeah, we were in a relationship. And then we broke up, then we got back together, and broke up again. It’s a messy story.”

Mafuyu lowers his eyebrows slightly, looking at the modest trophy collection on the shelf by the TV. He notes how Akihiko said that it _is_ and not _was_ a messy story; maybe it isn’t deliberate, but it strikes him as an odd choice of words if it really would be over. Then again, maybe it isn’t. Maybe it is just… a messy story.

“But you still live together?”

“Yeah, well. That’s _also_ a messy story.”

Well, considering the fact that Akihiko still lives with his boyfriend or ex—or, again, maybe both—Mafuyu could’ve figured out that it was a complicated story that would take a while to explain. He finds himself being curious about said story, but won’t press for details. Akihiko probably has his reasons for not wanting to talk about it, and besides, he and Mafuyu aren’t exactly the best of friends. If anyone would know, it’s probably Haruki.

As much as Mafuyu has been able to learn about his bandmates, some parts are obviously still a mystery to him. More than anyone, Akihiko is a mystery to Mafuyu. His intentions, his motivations, why he ended up where he is now, why he chose drums over the violin, why the hell he’s still living with his ex or boyfriend. Or both. Maybe Mafuyu will find out in time, or maybe he won’t. Maybe he’ll figure it out on his own if he can get to know Akihiko better. If that’s the reason as to why he’s at Akihiko’s place right now, Mafuyu still doesn’t know.

“Hey, by the way. Have you gotten anywhere with those lyrics?”

Mafuyu makes an unsure, humming sound. “Sort of. I have an idea of what I want to convey, at least; now it’s just… trying to get it down in writing.”

“Well, it’s a start. Definitely better than a blank page. I obviously don’t wanna pressure you, but we don’t have long until we get up on that stage. And if you don’t make it in time for the gig, it’s no big deal. We’ve always been an instrumental band, anyway, so—”

“But things are different now,” Mafuyu interrupts without meaning to. “I joined the band. I… I want to write songs, I want to sing.”

Akihiko huffs a quiet, short laugh. “That’s good. You’ve got a great voice, shame to not let people hear it. Listen, I’m sorry for pressuring you about that the other day. But I did mean it, you know.”

“Pressuring me about what?”

“About your past,” Akihiko clarifies. He pauses to take a sip from his beer can. “How you have to settle things with your past if you wanna write those lyrics.”

“Oh,” Mafuyu says. He shrugs, smiling. “You don’t have to be sorry. I think I needed that, for many reasons.”

“… Are you gonna tell Ue?”

Mafuyu glances at Akihiko, whose eyes are steadily trained on him. He finds himself not minding this ‘confrontation’, not that it exactly qualifies as such, but it’s not too far off, either. In fact, it’s pretty nice to talk about it with someone who clearly understands. Akihiko hadn’t shown any surprise whenever Mafuyu had talked about how he’d gotten his Gibson from Saeko after Yuki’s passing, which clearly showed how Akihiko had put two and two together. Again, _somehow_ , without Mafuyu having talked about it to his knowledge.

Then again, he’s reminded of the one instance at the studio when Haruki had suggested Mafuyu should write a song about past relationships. Akihiko had been quick to shoot down the idea, which was how Mafuyu first realised that Akihiko had figured out more than he’d let on. Akihiko is almost scarily perceptive, but in Mafuyu’s case, as someone who isn’t good at expressing himself, it’s kind of nice to have someone read between the lines and figure things out instead of Mafuyu having to talk about it too much himself.

“Yeah,” Mafuyu replies. Then, he laughs quietly. “You knew that, too. I’m starting to wonder if I should be scared of you.”

Akihiko snorts. “Right back at you. No, but you two are way too obvious. Ue’s more obvious about his feelings than you are, but still. It’s cute. And if you feel ready, go for it. He’s a little clumsy, but he’s a good guy.”

“I know.”

“I don’t wanna say too much since it’s between him and me, but I talked to Uenoyama the other day after band practice. I scolded him for having been off his rhythm lately, among other things.”

“I see.”

“Well, did it help? How’s he been lately?”

Mafuyu goes back over recent events in his head which feature Ritsuka, and he comes to the conclusion that _something_ definitely happened. Now he at least knows what that is, and he isn’t all that surprised—Akihiko seems to be the one people to go for serious discussions, or he’s the one initiating them himself since he clearly knows when they need to happen.

“Better than before. It feels like… he got something out of his system?”

Akihiko bursts out laughing. He empties his can of beer and places it on the table before leaning back against the couch. “Oh, he definitely did. Actually, I think we both got something out of our systems with how we yelled at each other.”

Mafuyu’s eyes widen. “You did?”

“Yeah, well… it wasn’t as if we were fighting. I started yelling because I—you know what, that’s one of the things I think should stay between Ue and me.”

“Okay.”

Again, he can’t help but be curious, but Mafuyu knows better than to ask about something that doesn’t concern him. Well, it _does_ , but what Ritsuka talks about with Akihiko is indeed something that should stay between them unless they say otherwise, unless they’re both okay with talking about it with others. In some cases, not knowing can be a good thing, too. Mafuyu isn’t really one to talk since he, too, has things he hasn’t told either Akihiko or Ritsuka. It’s just that Akihiko figured out one or two of those things on his own, but that’s a little different.

Mafuyu takes a deep breath, briefly closing his eyes. Of course, that’s why he went to Akihiko rather than anyone else. Akihiko’s level of understanding and life experience resonates with Mafuyu on a level that can’t be matched by the others. It’s different from the relationships he has with Haruki and Ritsuka, and maybe that’s a good thing. He gets different things out of his relationships with his bandmates, and it might be as obvious an answer as them just being very different people. It’s also one of the reasons why it’s impressive they’ve managed to be a band for as long as they have.

“I think I know what I want the song to be about now,” he says, making Akihiko look at him again with that surprised look from before. “Thank you, Kaji-san.”

“Wait, for what? What did I do?”

Mafuyu smiles again, and he stands up from the couch. “Provided an answer to the question I had about what to do with the song.”

“That doesn’t answer _my_ question, though.”

“You’ll figure it out, Kaji-san,” Mafuyu says, and the look he gets in response makes his smile grow wider.

* * *

Ritsuka is unusually quiet. Mafuyu glances to his side, trying to figure out what might be going on in Ritsuka’s mind, but there’s really no telling what Ritsuka might be thinking about right now. It could be about how he wants to sleep, like he often does. It could be about the incoming summer break, or maybe their live performance the other day. That’s something that hasn’t left Mafuyu’s mind, and he knows that won’t happen for a long time to come.

Even though he doesn’t remember a lot of the performance, he remembers bits and pieces that make him want to do it again. He wants to experience that feeling again of standing on stage, of singing and performing in front of a crowd, he wants to write more songs, and he wants to sing to Ritsuka’s guitar. There are many things he still isn’t sure about, things he’s still learning, but he knows this much, and it’s enough.

“Uenoyama-kun,” he begins, and he swears he sees Ritsuka flinch next to him. It makes Mafuyu smile. “Do you have any plans after this?”

*

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](https://radiodread.tumblr.com) | [twitter](https://twitter.com/natastrophies)


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